JOKES!

[Chalky]

So I was looking around on Wolfire and noticed that there is no joke thread (other than a thread about only Lugaru jokes), so I thought I would go ahead and make one.

Note: The joke I'm gonna post to start this off is anti Semitic. But, just to let you know, I am no way shape or form anti semitic, I love those cheap little bastards . If I offend anyone, I am sorry. (That is not my intention).

Q: What happens when a Jewish man with an erection runs into a wall?
A: He hits his nose.

I was gonna post another joke, but I was thinking it might be a little too much.

[Count Roland]

Q. How many jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?
A. 30, 2 in the seats, and 28 in the ashtray.
also not anti-Semitic, but I figured a jew joke deserves a jew joke.

and now to offset the two offensive jokes.
so a farmer is milking a cow when he sees a very distinctive fly go into it's ear, later he notices the same fly in the milk, but shrugs it off saying "In one ear out the udder."

[Sandurz]

Why are jews noses so big?

Air is free.

[johndh]

Really? The only thing you can think of is Jew jokes? Oy vey.

By the way, saying you're not a bigot doesn't make your jokes any less bigoted.

[m3nace]

It's kind of frightening that the first site you hit when googling "jew jokes" is related to the nsdap D:

[Chalky]

So a man in a trench coat runs up to two old woman on a bench and flashes them. The first one gets a stroke, but the other couldn't quite reach.

[zoidberg rules]

What did the Japanese man say to the Japanese woman?
I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

The day after a school trip to a farm, the teacher asks the kids "What sounds did we hear at the farm yesterday?!" The children happily replied with "Moo" "Neigh" "Bahh" and "Get the fuck off that tractor".

[Chalky]

*Knock knock*

[Zhukov]

Q: Why did the possum fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

[Chalky]

Q: Why did the possum fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Awesome!

[johndh]

*Knock knock*

Can't you read the sign? It says "no soliciting"!

Warning: Incredibly lame pun.
Q: How much does a pirate charge for ear piercing?
A: A buck an ear

[Chalky]

*Knock knock*

Can't you read the sign? It says "no soliciting"!

Humor me.

[Count Roland]

Bigotry doesn't exist, the jokes are funny until you run into someone easily offended. Bigotry is a thing of the past the only bigots left are attention seeking inbred pinheads, very easily identifiable, and yet people continue to be offended by humor rather than going along with it.

For those of you who can't tell that statement was intentionally silly, though also a bit truthful, too many good jokes are ruined by people who can't take a joke, and being politically correct ruins them too. You know how [this race] has [this size] [body organ]? well I heard they got it from [this earlier activity]

Also who's there Chalky?

[Chalky]

Also who's there Chalky

Boo

Also, Count Roland = BAMF of the day.

[Chalky]

Blonde joke time!

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette decide to have a competition: Who can swim across a lake fastest using the breaststroke. So after about 45 minutes the redhead gets to the other side. Getting first place. 10 minutes later the brunette gets to the other side. But after about 2 hours of waiting the blonde never shows up. So they send a boat out to find her, after a little while they find her, exhausted, in the middle of the lake. Upon seeing the boat she says: "The others were cheating! I saw them use their arms."