randomness
Re: randomness
Radioactive tan.
Been near a nuclear station recently, Invertin?
Been near a nuclear station recently, Invertin?
Re: randomness
I am 132% sure that that is a Yes.
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Jimmy Jazz
- Posts: 360
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Re: randomness
Ahhh, its good to be back.
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Grayswandir
- Short end of the stick
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- Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2005 12:37 am
- Location: Robbing the cradle.
Re: randomness
So metaphorically, he's "The Fly".Count Roland wrote:[story shortened for space]
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Count Roland
- Posts: 2937
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Re: randomness
Sure. I kind of thought of it in a couple of seconds of sheer stupidity when I was trying to restart this thread. btw more retarded story. below.
It was one of those hot, boring, smoggy days in Chicago, the perfect kind of day for a huge case to show up. Of course, no case would come. Business was as lousy as always. I'm a P.I. or so the letters on my door's redundant window tell me. The reason I describe the window as redundant is because that door's always open. The air conditioner's broken, so I try to get a breeze from the lack of people walking by in the empty hallway outside my office. So, there I was sitting with my feet up on the desk near the phone pondering why business was so bad. Surely even in this day and age there was a need for a detective, and my advertisements were everywhere. All I had to do was wait for the phone to ring.
Staring at the phone intently, waiting for it to ring, it finally occurred to me why the phone didn't ring, so I pulled out my (actually old Mrs. Harris') trusty snub nosed revolver from my coat pocket and fired four shots into the telephone. It had been unplugged; I now had a case, the case of the unplugged telephone. Judging from the evidence, there had been a slight scuffle in the telephone's area apparently unplugging it. I dusted for fingerprints. There were none. There were, however, some rubber marks, as if a car had driven by. I now had several important, unanswered questions: Who would drive a car across a desk indoors simply to pull out a telephone wire? What is the motive for disconnecting a telephone? Is it because it was rotary? I certainly would've thought so. I myself wouldn't have chosen it, I was just borrowing it from old Mrs. Harris from down the street.
It finally hit me like a slap in the face from a gorilla angry over the theft of a barrel by an Italian. Liability. Mrs. Harris lent me the phone so she could sue me when she sabotaged it. I found four bullets in the phone, nicely grouped, must have been someone almost as handsome as me who fired it. I checked. They matched Mrs. Harris' old revolver perfectly. No wonder there were no fingerprints. She did a drive by and unplugged the phone on the way past. I was going down the street to confront her, and return the phone and revolver in hopes of avoiding liability.
I returned them and made my accusations. Mrs. Harris yelled about respecting other people's property. It was clear I would need a witness to prove that I was right, so I stopped by my old high school Language Arts teacher's house for help. She yelled at me, then I flew back to Chicago.
All this yelling really made me reflect on life as I sat in my chair with my feet up on the desk near wherre old Mr. Rotary telephone used to be, and it occurred to me, maybe I had come to a wrong conclusion after all. It would be nearly impossible to fir a car on my desk without my noticing, and besides, the marks on the desk were more like scuff marks than skid marks, probably cause by sneakers like I prefer. Now it hit me like the Italian still hadn't given the barrel back and instead had let it hurl into a burning barrel at the bottom of a slope. Now that's an angry monkey. I had unplugged the phone in my own bungling by putting my shoes up on the desk! I had fired four shots into the phone when I realized it was unplugged! There was no perpetrator to this crime, but I didn't have time to worry about that I already had another, far more urgent case. I didn't know my name, and therefore couldn't finish this story with "another case solved by (insert name here)." It was a smoggy day in Chicago, not so boring anymore, and I was a P.I. and I had a case.
It was one of those hot, boring, smoggy days in Chicago, the perfect kind of day for a huge case to show up. Of course, no case would come. Business was as lousy as always. I'm a P.I. or so the letters on my door's redundant window tell me. The reason I describe the window as redundant is because that door's always open. The air conditioner's broken, so I try to get a breeze from the lack of people walking by in the empty hallway outside my office. So, there I was sitting with my feet up on the desk near the phone pondering why business was so bad. Surely even in this day and age there was a need for a detective, and my advertisements were everywhere. All I had to do was wait for the phone to ring.
Staring at the phone intently, waiting for it to ring, it finally occurred to me why the phone didn't ring, so I pulled out my (actually old Mrs. Harris') trusty snub nosed revolver from my coat pocket and fired four shots into the telephone. It had been unplugged; I now had a case, the case of the unplugged telephone. Judging from the evidence, there had been a slight scuffle in the telephone's area apparently unplugging it. I dusted for fingerprints. There were none. There were, however, some rubber marks, as if a car had driven by. I now had several important, unanswered questions: Who would drive a car across a desk indoors simply to pull out a telephone wire? What is the motive for disconnecting a telephone? Is it because it was rotary? I certainly would've thought so. I myself wouldn't have chosen it, I was just borrowing it from old Mrs. Harris from down the street.
It finally hit me like a slap in the face from a gorilla angry over the theft of a barrel by an Italian. Liability. Mrs. Harris lent me the phone so she could sue me when she sabotaged it. I found four bullets in the phone, nicely grouped, must have been someone almost as handsome as me who fired it. I checked. They matched Mrs. Harris' old revolver perfectly. No wonder there were no fingerprints. She did a drive by and unplugged the phone on the way past. I was going down the street to confront her, and return the phone and revolver in hopes of avoiding liability.
I returned them and made my accusations. Mrs. Harris yelled about respecting other people's property. It was clear I would need a witness to prove that I was right, so I stopped by my old high school Language Arts teacher's house for help. She yelled at me, then I flew back to Chicago.
All this yelling really made me reflect on life as I sat in my chair with my feet up on the desk near wherre old Mr. Rotary telephone used to be, and it occurred to me, maybe I had come to a wrong conclusion after all. It would be nearly impossible to fir a car on my desk without my noticing, and besides, the marks on the desk were more like scuff marks than skid marks, probably cause by sneakers like I prefer. Now it hit me like the Italian still hadn't given the barrel back and instead had let it hurl into a burning barrel at the bottom of a slope. Now that's an angry monkey. I had unplugged the phone in my own bungling by putting my shoes up on the desk! I had fired four shots into the phone when I realized it was unplugged! There was no perpetrator to this crime, but I didn't have time to worry about that I already had another, far more urgent case. I didn't know my name, and therefore couldn't finish this story with "another case solved by (insert name here)." It was a smoggy day in Chicago, not so boring anymore, and I was a P.I. and I had a case.
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mansizedmouse
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:31 pm
Re: randomness
A Cheese Sandwich could be good right now
Re: randomness
From a Youtube Comment:
IF YOU HATE COPY-PASTERS THEN COPY-PASTE THIS ON TO THREE OTHER VIDS.....
Wait what!?
FUCK!
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Ac30
- Posts: 146
- Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:15 am
- Location: Damn it, I swallowed the blue pill again.
Re: randomness
Chairs are still better then the junk posted on pootube. 
Re: randomness
Also
Re: randomness
El Oh El.