Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Anything else
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invertin
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by invertin » Tue May 26, 2009 9:19 am

Long ago there was a small settlement of farm animals in a forest.

The animals worked together to survive. The Sheep fed the animals with their Popcorny inventions (look back at the goat origin story), the Ducks got them fish and bread, which they used to build their houses from, the chickens maintained the law (cept the roosters, they just woke everyone up at the proper times), and the swans invented the laws and such.

However, one day, the chickens awoke and walked out of their breadcraft coop to find the roosters were missing! Because the roosters were missing, the animals did not wake up at the proper time and they had to work extra hard to get enough food, for you see, winter was coming around, and, as you know, you can't make popcorn in the winter with just sheep power, you need a microwave, which the animals could not afford. The ducks devoted themselves to finding fish to eat and the chickens had to be cautious, since the animals were stressed and they might riot. The chickens were also worried that they may die out cause chickens are the females and roosters are the males and you know that for the stork to carry a baby there needs to be a mommy and a daddy.

Anyhow, the animals managed to stay together and get just enough food to survive the winter. Unfortunately, another group of animals did not. The cats desperately asked the swans to live with them for the winter. The swans couldn't just turn them away, but they knew they couldn't survive the winter with so many animals. So they ordered the cats to go hunting and bring back plenty of food. And they did! So the cats lived with the other animals for the winter. But soon, trouble came. The chickens had dissapeared as well! The good news was that everyone had extra food, the bad news was that there was nothing stopping attacks from other animals or the animals from rioting. So the swans put the cats in charge of security. They were effective.

The cats kept watch at night, and while they slept in the day, nobody wanted to attack or revolt, because waking up a cat during it's beauty sleep is like painting yourself red and doing the hokey cokey in front of a bull that is not very happy at that moment. But as the days wore on and the spring came back around, more animals kept dissapearing in the night.

One swan, Mr McDuckling (you know that story) kept notes of the dissapearing animals. He noticed something strange, there was a sudden rise in food just yesterday with no explanation and no cats had ever dissapeared. He confronted the head-cat about it, who told him that he had been killing the animals in the night and turning them into popcorn with their special device. (Incidentally this was how popcorn chicken was invented) so that no-one would be any the wiser. It turns out that the cats want the forest to themselves. McDuckling punched the headcat in the face and managed to ring the "cats are evil" bell before he was struck down (the animals have a special bell for everything*). McDuckling Junior rounded up the remaining swans and prepared them for combat, and they swooped down. The tactic was simple. Run into them with your wings outstretched and peck them to death. (They use this tactic today. In parks. Against me. It hurts.)

The war went on for decades and Junior wondered if they could ever win while he sat in front of the campfire. The rest of his squad were asleep in their tents while he kept watch. He heard something, it wasn't a very loud sound, but it was something. He held his wing to his head as if he had ears and he realized the sound was purring. He turned around to see a cat jumping towards him, he grabbed a stick from the timber pile and smacked the cat with it, sending it through the air. The cat landed on it's feet and pounced again, knocking him to the ground and the stick out of his hands. Junior reached for the stick, but the cat just calmly rolled it away with his free paw.

"We've already won, McDuckling. Resistance is futile!"

The stick rolled towards the flicking flame.

"The cats own this forest now!"

The stick rolled over, igniting on the fire.

"Just hold still and I'll make it quick. I always like them when they die quick!"

The stick continued rolling, bashing against a tree.

"...What's that smell?"
The cat looked over it's shoulder to see a great oak tree burning. He looked back at McDuckling in time to get a faceful of feathery fist. McDuckling jumped up and pushed the cat onto it's back, just as the thin branches of the tree started to burn away.

"THIS ISN'T OVER!"

Screamed the cat, as the branch finally broke off of the tree, crushing and burning the cat alive. McDuckling grabbed a flaming stick from the campfire.

"SWANS!"

The swans awoke from their tents.

"GRAB A STICK! WE AREN'T LETTING THESE CATS GET OUT OF THIS FOREST ALIVE!"

The McDuckling squad marched out of the forest with sticks in hand, lighting the trees they passed and spreading the flame. They put out the flame and held them like clubs as they left the forest.

"Alright boys! That should do!"

The squad stood outside of the forest and admired the smoke. One swan noticed something.

"Sir."

"Yes, Mr. Birdface?"

"The fire is spreading very quickly."

"That's the poi-"

"It's not going to stop with the forest."

McDuckling looked at the ground beneath the trees. The grass had caught on fire. He didn't think that was possible, but it was happening and the grassfire was spreading. He turned around to see that there were many villages outside of the forest, but underneath grass. Everyone would die!

"Mr Birdface, bring your stick!"

"Yes sir!"

The two ran around the edge of the forest.

"There!"

Junior pointed up to a great stone wall.

"It's a dam! If we can smash it open, it'll form a river and stop the fire!"

The two ran to the dam and started whacking it with their sticks.

"I don't think so..."

A black cat pounced from the shadows onto Birdface.

"Birdface!"

The cat sat on Birdface, pressing his claws into the poor swan's chest. the cat turned around to reveal burn marks on his face.

"...Are you-"

"I TOLD YOU THIS WASN'T OVER!"

The cat ripped his claws out of Birdface and pounced at McDuckling. He held up his stick, which the cat's sharp teeth caught onto. The cat pulled itself off and spat out the splinters before pouncing again.

"OH NO YOU-"

McDuckling threw his stick at the cat. It spun in the air like a baton, smacking the cat in the face, then, as if in slow motion, the stick bounced away and hit the dam. A large crack formed. The cat looked at the crack in terror; he was terrified of water.

"McDuckling!... Catch!..."

Birdface slowly pulled back his arm, then threw his stick at McDuckling. While in the air it passed one of the flaming trees. McDuckling caught it, noticing the end he wasn't holding had caught on fire again. He smacked the cat across the face with it while he was distracted and the cat's fur caught alight.

(Oh man that's going to make a great children's film)

The cat screamed and growled and hissed before turning to McDuckling.

"YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM KILLING YOU AND EVERY OTHER SWAN IN THIS PLACE!?"

McDuckling didn't respond. He threw the stick at the Dam and it burst open. He jumped back as it smashed into the cat at full force. McDuckling waited for the water to slow down and stepped towards the end of the river, watching the crispy corpse float away in the stream.

"BIRDFACE!"

He flew over the river and stood above his friend.

"Mr Birdface!"
"Hello sir."
"Come on Birdface, we can get out of here."
"You can. I can't."
"What do you mean you-"
McDuckling looked down at the claw marks in his chest.

"Oh... Crap."
"Don't worry about me."
"Don't you atleast want me to take your corpse back?"
"Nah. I always wanted to be cremated."

(HURRAH FOR DARK HUMOUR!)

"Alright then Mr Birdface. It's been an honor working with you."
"Likewise sir."
Then he died.

McDuckling flew across the river again, but before he left, he took one long last look at the forest he had burned down to save the world from the evil forest cats. He remembered how his entire life had been inside of that forest, and how his father's entire life had too. He looked down at the ground, holding back his tears.

Image

He walked back to the rest of the swans and they walked off to find a nice pond somewhere.

THE END

(HOW'S THAT FOR A FUDGING STORY MADE FROM ART!? HUH!? YOU BEAT THAT REN! YOU FUDGING BEAT THAT!)

*They've got a bell for-

Run out of Popcorn
Run out of fish
Run out of bread
Swans are evil
Chickens are evil
Sheep are evil
Ducks are evil
Cats are evil (NEW!)
Goat attack!
Sheep are on fire
Sheep are actually wolves
Ducks have evolved
Swans are aliens (and nice)
Swans are aliens (and NOT NICE RUN)
PARTY BELL
Cows are shooting us
A bell has broken
"A bell has broken" has broken
""A bell has broken" has broken" has broken
Cheese bell (for combination with the party bell)
Koala Assasin
SPY SAPPIN MAH SENTRY
RED SPY IS IN THE BASE
Evil cult has started
Evil cult has taken over
Evil cult has been stopped
Evil cult has summoned the demon from beyond the end of the universe and brought 1000 years of darkness upon us all
Gravity stopped working
A random adventure is beginning
The end is nigh
Some other event is happening
I don't know what is happening
The "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" bell

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nutcracker
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by nutcracker » Tue May 26, 2009 9:41 am

WOW, that was really awesome...STUNNING!
Thx for using my art too XD
Ren, I dont think that you can top that :O

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invertin
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by invertin » Tue May 26, 2009 10:02 am

I swear if I could still animate I would so turn this into a movie.

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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by nutcracker » Tue May 26, 2009 10:10 am

What is stopping you?

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invertin
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by invertin » Tue May 26, 2009 10:16 am

I wouldn't be able to do it justice. :D

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Glabbit
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Glabbit » Tue May 26, 2009 2:10 pm

Then make a movie out of it, show it to us, and refine it if necessary! I want to see it! I'm very sure that whatever you make of it, it'll be epic! D:

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Renegade_Turner
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Renegade_Turner » Tue May 26, 2009 2:12 pm

invertin wrote:(HOW'S THAT FOR A FUDGING STORY MADE FROM ART!? HUH!? YOU BEAT THAT REN! YOU FUDGING BEAT THAT!)
Mine was better. It had a lime.

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invertin
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by invertin » Tue May 26, 2009 4:34 pm

Mine had Chickens. Chickens that were also police.

And fire.

Fire and chicken police.

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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Renegade_Turner » Tue May 26, 2009 5:55 pm

You dare copy Duke Nukem 3D?

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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Blind Pew » Tue May 26, 2009 7:49 pm

hey Ren, do you post in purple because you are insecure and you feel that you need to be better than everyone else??

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Renegade_Turner
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Renegade_Turner » Tue May 26, 2009 8:33 pm

Lol, it never fails. That train is always right on time. Chugga chugga chugga.

Wouldn't me being insecure be a reason not to type in purple, since purple is generally a colour people get teased for wearing or liking? I'm pretty sure it has homosexual connotations with a lot of people for some bizarre reason. I told my friend that I liked purple and she said "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Honestly, why must every thread turn into a conversation about me?
Last edited by Renegade_Turner on Tue May 26, 2009 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Richie Rabbit
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Richie Rabbit » Tue May 26, 2009 8:41 pm

I am typing in blue~ why..? because I am better then all people on earth! soo.. yeah.. kiss my butt! *Swims in a pool filled with gold coins*

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Richie Rabbit
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Richie Rabbit » Tue May 26, 2009 8:50 pm

Renegade_Turner wrote:
Honestly, why must every thread turn into a conversation about me?
We are madly in love with you... :oops:

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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Tüssler » Tue May 26, 2009 9:28 pm

i just want to lick those big fat yummy-looking testicles taht are hanging off your face

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Richie Rabbit
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Re: Ramble I must and ramble I will.

Post by Richie Rabbit » Tue May 26, 2009 9:30 pm

Lmfao Tuss xD

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