DUNDUN DUN DADUNinvertin wrote:Of course, the relative peace was not to last. Because that wouldn't be very awesome.
DUNDUN DUN DADUN
DUNDUN DUN DADUN
DUNDUN DUN DADUN
/terminatormusic
Alright so Boom is defending his temple.
Things have been so peaceful lately that Boom isn't wearing his helmet today. His bright orange hair doesn't even move in the wind in the slightest, why? Because the hair on his head is a Mohawk sharp enough to cut through diamond, and the hair on his face is a beard. Like, an AWESOME beard. If he had any, he'd wear sunglasses, but he doesn't.
When suddenly, the entire temple hears a strange humming noise. Like a ZZZZ noise, it was hard to describe. Then a single thunderous roar. Boom ran to the forcefield gate (again, awesome) and looked outside. All he saw was a black and yellow blur covering the entire horizon, moving towards them.
...
He pulled out a pair of binoculars and looked through them. A lesser man would have melted in fear, but Boom didn't even flinch. He slowly lowered his binoculars, muttered something to himself, then turned around and yelled as loudly as he could...
"BEARBEEEES!"
The wall of Bearbees continued to approach with the ominous hum getting louder as Boom ran into his workshop and locked the door. People tried to defeat the Bearbees from a distance, but, unfortunately, all of their weapons were designed to be awesome, and awesome battles are close and personal. They continued approaching and the Grengoists kept trying to slow them down, but every one that died was replaced by another and Boom was still locked in the workshop.
"By the Nagas, we're Doomed!"
Boom's workshop door exploded open. Boom walked out, a much larger weapon on his shoulder.
"...No. They are."
He ran to the walls, raising the weapon. It was twice as large as he was, but he was just awesome enough to carry it. It looked like a military-grade missile launcher, the type normally fitted onto the back of vehicles, but it had a handle, and a trigger... And a pump handle. Boom held the weapon up for all to see, aiming it down at the Bearbees that, at this distance, you could individually count.
"You want some of BOOM!? JUST TRY AND GET CLOSE ENOUGH!"
Boom fired his weapon, revealing the pure spectacular awesomeness that fired from the front.
It was indeed a modified version of the military grade-missile launchers found on vehicles. The difference was that, instead of loading it with missiles, Boom loaded his with shotgun shells. Shotgun shells large enough that, instead of containing bullets, they contained missiles.
Nobody asked any of the thousands of questions that were raised by such a contraption working, they were too busy staring in awe at the sight of Boom firing a shotgun that shoots missiles at an army of bearbees.
Boom leaped into the air at the bearbees, slinging the shotgun onto his back and pulling out two shells from his backpack, throwing one at a bearbee and letting the missiles detonate on impact, and loading the other into the shotgun on his back while kicking a bearbee in the face. While falling to the ground, he aimed upwards and fired another shot, destroying hundreds of the bearbees.
He threw another two shotgun shells in the air, one higher than the other, he held his shotgun in one hand and his revolver in the other. While he shot the bearbees down with his revolver, a shell fell from the air and landed perfectly in the shotgun, which he aimed upwards at the bearbees and fired again. He lowered the shotgun again, just in time for the other shell to land in it. He fired again. He put his revolver away, pulling out his mace and jumping high into the air again, landing on the back of a bearbee. He reloaded his shotgun while wrestling the bearbee in the air before finally shoving some rope in it's mouth and...
...Let me seperate this from the rest of the story in it's own paragraph just to express how awesome this is.
AWESOME
A caveman knight templar pirate who's biological father is literally pure awesome and invented both fire and the explosion started riding on the back of a bearbee while shooting other bearbees with a shotgun that fires missiles and using the bearbees body shape to stick both of his own legs out under it and kicking two other bearbees in the face at the same time while also hitting another in the face with a flail that explodes.
AWESOME
Launching off of the bearbee with a backflip, he aimed his revolver and shot it down. Looking at the mixture of bear blood and bee blood scattered across the floor outside, he turns around to his temple.
"Enemy casualties: Thousands. Friendly casualties: None."
Though no-one was hurt, he did worry. Bearbees are normally protective but harmless to anyone that doesn't piss them off, so why did they attack the temple?...
He decided to ponder this later. First, there's a ridiculously large amount of bearbee meat just outside the temple and he was HUNGRY!
