Epic Sarcasm Adventure - Let's Play Baldur's Gate II

[Grayswandir]

GOD DAMMIT. I had this entire thing written out and then my browsers decided to press the back button a few times while I was trying to delete something. Piece of shit.
Fuck it. Have some links, I'm not rewriting all this shit.

I will be playing Baldur's Gate II and the Expansion using the G3 Fixpack, parts of the G3 Tweakpack, if you want the specific components I'm using, I can list them.

I need one main character, so look through these...
Races and Stats
Classes and Kits
After looking through the Class Restrictions, choose a favored weapon(s) type as well:

• Axe
  Bastard Sword
  Bows
  Clubs
  Crossbows
  Daggers
  Darts
  Flails
  Halberds
  Katanas (magical Katanas are rare, the game even warns you of this)
  Long Swords
  Maces
  Quarter Staves
  Scimitars
  Short Swords
  Slings
  Spears
  Two-Handed Swords
  Warhammers

As well as a Weapon Style if you so choose:

• Two-Handed Weapon Style - bonuses while using a two-hander (does not include ranged weapons)
  Dual-Wield Style - bonuses while wielding two weapons
  Sword and Shield Style - bonuse while using a weapon and a shield (Try not to choose Bows/Crossbows with this, since they're considered two-handed ranged weapons...)
  Single-Weapon Style - bonuses while only using a one-handed weapon

You'll also want to choose an Alignment, which I will use as a light guideline as how I'm going to play the character.

As a side note, Baldur's Gate II is very magic heavy. Which means magic-users can become insanely powerful and there's going to be huge amounts of magical spells thrown around during the game. Not to say that fighters and the like are useless, they get quite awesome as well (Monks get insane saving throws, immunity to magic, and instant-death hand-to-hand attacks, for example).

Name:
Race:
Alignment:
Class:
Favored Weapons:
Weapon Style:
Personality Quirks:

Have at it.

[Armored Wolf]

Hooray a new one! Can't wait! Wait, you want US to create characters for you?

[Grayswandir]

One more thing, if you guys would prefer, we could switch to Baldur's Gate II and its expansion. Although the gameplay style is far different from Icewind Dale. BG2 is more epic adventure with puzzles, scheming, and dialogue, while Icewind Dale is about smashing the ugly creatures nuts in.

[Armored Wolf]

Baldur's Gate II. Anything by BioWare

[Renegade_Turner]

I want to play Icewind Dale. I bought it years ago but only played the first few bits until you got into that first cave...then my brother gave it to his friend and I never got it back. =[

[Grayswandir]

So...no one is gonna come up with characters?

[TadMod]

it's got to be a male gnome chaotic evil mage

do it, you know you want to!

[Grayswandir]

I need 6 characters. If you guys can't come up with any, I'll come up with some, although it won't be as amusing as having your own guys running around.

[invertin]

I'm going to ask for a human female paladin. (Hey, guess which alignment? >.>)

Just so that we have a female character.

And then an elf male chaotic neutral thief just to piss off the paladin.

[Grayswandir]

I like how none of them have personalities. Or names.
Let's set it up this way, since you guys are pretty good at copying and pasting, at least half of the time. Here's what you need:

Gender:
Race:
Class:
Alignment:
Preferred Weapon-Type:
Name:
Personality Quirks:

Speaking of Weapons:

Now, not all classes can use all these weapons, but I'll do my best to fit in what you want.

[Armored Wolf]

Gender: Male
Race: Dwarf
Class: Fighter
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Preferred Weapon-Type: Axe
Name: Bob
Personality Quirks: Hates females to the point of chopping off both their arms and then setting them free. I think that fits "Chaotic Evil".

[Assaultman67]

Gender: Male
Race: Human
Class: Thief
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Preferred Weapon-Type: Shiv (dagger)
Name: Jamal
Personality Quirks: Extreme kleptomaniac and will always deny if he stole something

Gender: Male
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Cleric
Alignment: Neutral Good
Preferred Weapon-Type: Quarter Stave
Name: Jared
Personality Quirks: Sexuality confusion

[TadMod]

Gender: Male
Race: Gnome
Class: Mage
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Preferred Weapon-Type: Great Swords
Name: SnargleTargleBargle
Personality Quirks: He's the Barney Stinson of Icewind Dale

[Grayswandir]

Mages can't use Great Swords...I could give him Daggers, Missile, or Quarter Staves.

[Armored Wolf]

So how many more characters do you need? I'm assuming you stuck with Icewind Dale despite my recommendation