a place to complain about the worst movies you've ever seen

Renegade_Turner · Post by **Renegade_Turner** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:00 pm

The second and third Matrix films were good, just people were expecting The Matrix all over again, which was never going to happen because they were never going to make the 2nd and 3rd films as good as the original. They were actually quite good, people just weren't willing to take them for what they were instead of expecting them to be exactly the same as the original.

invertin · Post by **invertin** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:29 am

To be honest I liked the films. But I need something to make fun of and they seem to be popular in that way.

Also I just cracked up and splurted juice everywhere, my dad got a Indiana Jones Potato Head and now he's given it glasses.

GaGrin · Post by **GaGrin** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:40 am

The 2nd Matrix film had potential - but it was too dependant on the followup. Which the 3rd film comepletely failed to do IMO. They took a neat Sci-Fi idea, with some philisophical elements and then ran as far and as hard away from that as possible.

I'm quite capable of coping with religous overtones where its appropriate - but they essentially decided to make Neo into Jesus and I'm afraid to say thats bullshit.

There are so many other things they could have done it makes my mind ache that they could be so fucking lazy.

In regards to Hitman: I think the single biggest fuckup was ignoring the difference between a clone, accelerated to adulthood and specifically engineered to kill, and a random orphan taught how to kill.

47 is a clone. Not an orphan. And has nothing to do with any church or... what the hell was the guy who wrote the plot thinking? Its just as pointless to people with no prior knowledge and you're alienating fans of the games too? What a stupid thing to do!

Blorx · Post by **Blorx** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:22 pm

actually he did have something to do with a church...in the beginning of the second Hitman game, you start at a church which you're using as a hideout and then have to go rescue it's priest if i'm not mistaken...

though, he was a clone and there's no mistaking that

invertin · Post by **invertin** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:13 pm

Apparently 47 is actually religious. Note how near the start of the second game he draws a cross on himself (You know what i mean) and at the end of Blood Money he does the same I think.

rudel_ic · Post by **rudel_ic** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:36 pm

He is. That's what part 2 is all about.

Renegade_Turner · Post by **Renegade_Turner** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:37 pm

I saw The Happening yesterday. It was actually class in my opinion. Very interesting film. Took something original like that and then managed to give it a real feel of tension and suspense. It was hilarious in some bits too, like when he's talking about buying the cough syrup. "It was a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup too...I didn't even have a cough..." I loved that film even though the other half of the people at the film thought it was shite. All about your perspective I suppose. Same thing happened with Cloverfield. You either love it or hate it.

GaGrin · Post by **GaGrin** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:21 am

I'm well aware that in silent assassin 47 attempts to escape his old life as a hitman by working in a church as a gardener. However - that's it, thats the entire connection - and anyone who's completed that game knows that 47 fails to escape, nearly gets his preist friend killed and promises himself never to trust anyone again.

The film pretends he's an orphan from a religious cult that trains them to kill... WTF?

I'll also note that Contracts and Blood money drop the theme completely (and I've re-completed Blood money quite recently so I'm certain about this) - its not integral to the character beyond the personal loss in that game.

Chainsaw man · Post by **Chainsaw man** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:09 pm

I think it was Uwe Bowl who made it

Im sure if they Did not call that Movie Hitman, did not try to make a Computer game a movie, and made up more for THERE OWEN story, it wuld have been a good movie. I think people are running out of Ideas.

Some of the Crap people make as wrighters, I think most movie writers need to be Hung, Drawn and Quaterd with my Chainsaw.

Renegade_Turner · Post by **Renegade_Turner** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:59 pm

Do you know what hung, drawn and quartered means? I'm pretty sure it can't be done by using a chainsaw.

I thought the Hitman film had good action sequences, but the plot was pretty much retarded.

Chainsaw man · Post by **Chainsaw man** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:02 am

I know, it invlose more tearing and pulling, and haning, over than cutting and cleving, but If you have my Sadistic nature, Its posable.

Makrond · Post by **Makrond** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:18 pm

I got and finished Contracts recently... I hated it, especially after having played the first two. I really don't know how you can take a good game and make it completely crap, but they managed.

I couldn't even finish the tutorial on stealth, because I always got caught for no reason.

Anyway, yeah, anything Uwe Bol touches turns to... I'm trying to think of something worse than shit...

Case in point: BloodRayne. Loved the games, there's nothing better than buxom vampires and dismemberment. (Hmm...)

Uwe Bol got his hands on it, and she turned into a sex-crazed escaped carnie whoses blades weren't even attached to her gauntlets (they were seriously awesome... I remember watching once with slow-mo and gratuitous dismemberment, her blade at one point actually spun full-circles and chopped an enemy into his component parts).

Chainsaw man · Post by **Chainsaw man** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 8:03 pm

I heard Uwe Bowl got his hands on the wrights to Lugaru (JK but out of houmor Respond as if he actualy did please)

Blorx · Post by **Blorx** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 8:15 pm

0h n035!!!11!!!
1 h4v3 n0 1dea wh0 uw3 b0w1 1s 8u7 h3 5cr3w3d up h1tm4n 4nd b100dr4yn3 4nd 4 7h47 h3 5h0u1d d13!!1!!!1!1!!!!!1!!

wow...if i hadn't typed that i don't think i could have ever been able to read it...

invertin · Post by **invertin** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:55 am

If they made a Lugaru film it would either be guys in crappy costumes or the CGI would suck anyway.

Unless *ahem* someone we know *cough* who has knowledge in 3D *CHOKE* and knows everything about Lugaru *DIE* DUH DAVID

Die-duh-david is fun to say. DIEDUHDAVID