Joke of the Day

[Groveller]

Q: What's red and invisible?

A: No tomatoes.

[Chainsaw man]

Essentially the lengthened version of that joke from the Puffin Book of More New Zealand Jokes: "No, they just stood there with a silly look on their faces and their pricks stuck in their ears."

Hmmph, now I know where my mate got that joke.

[Grayswandir]

Used parachute for SALE!!!
CHEAP!!!
Never opened!!!
Small red stain.

[Glabbit]

Q: What's red and invisible?

A: No tomatoes.

That reminds me of the Invisible Pink Unicorns...

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.

[Groveller]

I used the IPU logo as an avatar, for a while. Strangely, the image never showed up. I took that as a sign that I am the Invisible Pink Messiah.

[Glabbit]

Lol.

[Renegade_Turner]

A rabbi, a shaman, and a priest walk into a bar, only there's no rabbi and no shaman and the priest is molesting me...only the priest is my dad and he's not a priest...my dad molested me...a lot.

[Starrz]

2/19/09

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A: Perhaps Willie Nelson and John Cougar Mellencamp will stage a benefit concert outside my barn to raise funds to replace the missing machinery.

[Chainsaw man]

A rabbi, a shaman, and a priest walk into a bar, only there's no rabbi and no shaman and the priest is molesting me...only the priest is my dad and he's not a priest...my dad molested me...a lot.

Now we know why your such a mean little boy...
(JK...)

[Renegade_Turner]

Yes I am so angsty and misunderstood, somebody help me!

[Glabbit]

And that reminds me of The Incredible Sulk!

But I'm too lazy to dig it out.
Cyanide & Happiness is funny.

[invertin]

Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff.

Ba-dum Tssh.

[Untadaike]

This guy and his friend are at a party and the guy has a lot of beer. Suddenly, he collapes, his breathing quickening. His friend hurriedly dials 911. A medic answers. "Sir! My friend is out cold! What should I do?!" The medic replies"Calm down, my friend. Okay, the first thing you need is make sure he's dead. The friend replies, "Okay, hold on!" The medic hears the phone being set down. Suddenly, there's the sound of several gunshots. The friend comes back to the phone: "Okay, now what?"

[Glabbit]

Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff.

Ba-dum Tssh.

Simple, yet Epic.
Would work better with audio, though. xD

This guy and his friend are at a party and the guy has a lot of beer. Suddenly, he collapes, his breathing quickening. His friend hurriedly dials 911. A medic answers. "Sir! My friend is out cold! What should I do?!" The medic replies"Calm down, my friend. Okay, the first thing you need is make sure he's dead. The friend replies, "Okay, hold on!" The medic hears the phone being set down. Suddenly, there's the sound of several gunshots. The friend comes back to the phone: "Okay, now what?"

*facepalm*

[Groveller]

Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff.

Ba-dum Tssh.

I get that at least once a week. Drummers, eh?

Also, what is this Incredible Sulk? I had a song of that name about a guy I knew, once...