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I think he should make his bear into a replica of Shavo Odadjian's:

My condolences. And apologies.

"You're so special, why aren't you dead?"
Liam howlett

I probably am. Maybe I need a doctor.

Your mom had a dialogue problem when she tried tell your dad to pull out.

Lol sorry, couldn't resist, just being an arrogant fuck. Hope you solve your problem.

As for Untadaike, sorry to hear that, chin up son, we all pass sometime. Thanks, man. I didn't know him, but I suppose when it gets down to it, it doesn't matter much. I'm really not that afraid of death. I am afraid of plenty of other things, but not of dying. I imagine I'll be rather excited when...

A junior committed suicide at my high school last night. The whole school's morale is seriously low.

You appear to still be bitter over something in the past. Nah, dude. I'm having fun. Say, do you listen to Tool? They're quite good. I would say they're a cross between System of a Down and Pink Floyd, maybe. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hglVqACd1C8 Also, anyone into Ska? Forgot to ...

Damn you, jerk!!!11!11~`~~!!!`1 =D

Nah, it's cool, whatever.

...

Nice, sounds awesome. Though it looks like more than a spill. Did it perchance get spread around a bit? =)

Not so various, my friend, not so various. The world is a boring place, confined to cycles, full of conformities. Unless you have proof otherwise, I suggest assuming everyone fits into boxes. And if you can deduce how I took what you said and make it somehow relate to this dumbass sentence, you get ...

Well, naturally, if you were the one talking, we would all assume that you're stating someone else's opinion. Duh. IN MY OPINION. But no, I hear ya. Gotta watch your step around Ren. (Unless I'm talking to the same person, is that still in debate?) He's partial to wild rages. As are we all. As are w...

Ahhh, you don't have to embed the actual videos, they make the page load so slow. Links are just fine, or tell us about it and we can look it up ourselves if we're interested. =}

Hahaha, shit, she's a slow learner. Two black eyes? Take it easy on her =]

No, it actually looks like you guys are having fun. THAT'S JUST DANDY, MATE. Vemioliosco.