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I finished the first draft of a one-act play for school, if anyone is interested in reading it. It is due Wednesday so if you find any typos or anything I can fix them It doesn't have any relation to my games, but I hope it is still worth checking out.

Interesting play. It actually fits, vaguely, the theme of a bunch of plays we've been reading in AP English recently.

There are indeed some typos -- commas which should be semicolons, occasional homonym mistakes like "to" for "too", etc -- and I could correct them all and send you the edited version by PM if you'd like, but there's nothing which would be a big deal for someone less of a grammar- and spelling-freak than myself, and there aren't really any glaring grammatical errors.

Note on the stage directions: I'm not good with plays, myself...at all...but I'm not quite sure the transition into Eva's near-"death" flashback will quite work visually, as written. I'll tell you if I think of a better way to do it, but I probably won't.

Lets see it. My writing skills are 3 grades above average . I'd be glad to take a look. My sister is an actress, so im used to looking at plays and i know the format .

Wow, what a mind trip. I could barely keep up with that story, neato!

Wow, certainly worth checking out.

It's that modern academic and intellectual style though... really... cold. Although it might have been part of the assignement.

I'd say arctic blast cold. Characters weak to ice should not watch this play.

Maybe you should spice it up a bit; start with a murder.

Edit: (in fact it's pretty impressive.)

I'm actually directing a couple of plays by David Ives right now, and this style vaguely reminds me of him. I just skimmed it; I'll read the rest when I have a bit more time.

Ultimatum479 wrote:There are indeed some typos -- commas which should be semicolons, occasional homonym mistakes like "to" for "too", etc -- and I could correct them all and send you the edited version by PM if you'd like, but there's nothing which would be a big deal for someone less of a grammar- and spelling-freak than myself, and there aren't really any glaring grammatical errors.

I am not so worried about the punctuation; I sometimes used incorrect punctuation in order to indicate pause length. Spelling problems are important though. I will look through again and see if I can catch those.

It's that modern academic and intellectual style though... really... cold. Although it might have been part of the assignement.

It's true... I was a bit worried about that. I am so used to writing papers and essays that it is hard to break out of that style.

It was kinda cold, but still, a good refresher from the kind of crap we have to read in my drama class.

And yeah, I also could barely keep up with all these metaphysical planes of existence. And I've been acting and reading plays for four or five years.

NickD wrote:Lets see it. My writing skills are 3 grades above average .

Aside from my temptation to comment on that latter part...
Work on your observation skills, then. It's in the link in his first post.