The Secret Of RoboTurner's Lethal Punch Uncovered!
Hidden camera reveals true source of punch's power
A camera cleverly concealed in a difficult-to-access passageway known to be used by RoborTurner today tore away the shroud obscuring the surprising truth behind the devastating power of his punch.
Previously considered only "above average" by Punchological experts, RoboTurner has recently been delivering punches of unusual lethality.
Puzzled by the sudden increase in punch-related fatalities, authorities interviewed RoboTurner and carefully examined his metallic fists, but were unable to discover any factors that might have enhanced his punching power. RoborTurner's only reply to questions was "Click!"
Determined to uncover the method used, surveillance experts secreted a tiny camera in a nearly inaccessible section of the now abandoned Raider Base. RoboTurner has frequently been observed entering and leaving this area (though the method he uses to move in and out is also not well understood).
The camera took a series of images that clearly revealed how RoboTurner increased his punching power, shortly before being discovered and demolished by the punch pictured above.
Three ordinary thumb-tacks (also know as drawing pins) emerge from the chrono-cavity on RoboTurner's wrist, and in less than a second are magnetically adhered to his fist.
No information is available about what happens to the pins post-punch, as the camera was disabled immediately after the close up of RoboTurner's fist was recorded.
Punchological experts and amateurs alike were intrigued with the revelation, although many felt it raised more questions than it answered.
One leading expert, who prefers to remain nameless due to his continuing involvement with the investigation, and his reluctance to let his children know what a foul mouth he has, said, "How the fuck do you kill someone with three lousy fucking thumb tacks, for Christ's sake? Even if you hit someone right in the fucking neck, they'd only have a couple of stupid little tiny holes in their neck! What a fucking joke!"
Other theories offered included the use of explosive vegetable compounds, but no conclusive evidence has been uncovered, although tiny bits of expanded maize were found in one victim's wound.
Commented the lead investigator, "Exploding vegetables? What, like popcorn?! Who the hell came up with that concept? I want some of whatever
he's smokin'.
Now, excuse me if I'm waaaay off track, but I'm on a hurry to the next thread.
