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Ok... What should I do if she asks me to bite off the other one?

You ask her if it would be better to chop it off with a cleaver?

That last one I was being random yes... how ever, a note to everyone... I have learned a valuable lesson.

Colicedus wrote:I have learned a valuable lesson.

If you complain to people on a forum and follow their advice...you'll end up with two dead, nippleless bodies and a cat that has had all its fur shaved off with a pair of dull scissors and a blowtorch.

I went to a Dance club with one of my mates, and we came across some nice looking lasses.

We danced, had a few drinks, the casual stuff.
One of them took a fancy to Me.

She wore a nice little miniskirt.
You could tell she wanted to get fingered the way she wore it.
I told her that I liked the way she looked, and asked if she wanted to come down to my place later for a little fun.

Then she told me that she had a yeast infection.
Major turn off. I replied "Well make me a fucking loaf of bread..."
She seemed to like it. She slapped me around the face.

...
Yes, women slapping you is a sign of affection...

yeah, girls LOVE insulting comebacks, not you idiot you could have had FUN! but no...

With a Yeast infection?
No bloody way man...
Look it up on Google Images and get what I mean you sicko

Ok.. This is a true situation I had at my sisters 18th (yesterday).

I felt a bit ill, dunno why though. I ate the same things everyone else ate and they were fine. Anyway-

Even my gigantic bladder couldn't hold in the 4 pints of coke I had, so I ran to the bathroom, then.. Came a big problem.

I needed to throw up, but I also, really needed to pee. If I puked first, I would wet myself while puking, if I peed I would blow chunks all over the floor.



Luckily I managed to hold my bladder.

Sounds like you had fun.
Sounds like some on drank a little too much and cant take there ale!

That's the point where you grab your sister and kiss her on the lips and say,
"No, we're getting married next week."

Sorry for my late response, I couldn't hold it in (Ba-dum pish).

What about peeing and aiming at the toilet?

Sorry, that sounded er… Well, assed. Is that correct slang grammar?

What about peeing while puking into the toilet?

Nah. My puking aim ain't too good.

I don't get enough practice.

I would suggest bending over, but then you might pee on your face…

BunnyWithStick wrote:I would suggest bending over, but then you might pee on your face…

Only bend over if you're willing to yell, "Smack it!!! Smack it hard now!!! OH YEAH BABY!!!"