Chuck Norris Facts

[Baradine]

I'm afraid this list is incomplete.
But I only have one for ya.

Why did God rest on the seventh day? It was too hard being Chuck Norris' slave.

They're old, and they're ridiculous, yes, but a fine wine only ripens with age.

[Grayswandir]

Even wine spoils over time.

[Renegade_Turner]

Especially when the bottle's already been opened, half of it's been drunk, and then everyone's pissed in it.

I can't think of any better analogy.

[sriven]

Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the lamp, the lamp turns him on.

[Freshbite]

Weird shit.

[kehaar]

Chuck Norris is a right-wing twat who's proud of his own ignorance and wishes others to be likewise, and who has choreographed some of the slowest, most boring martial arts fights in film history.

'k, now I feel better.

[Renegade_Turner]

Thank you, kehaar.

[Riparian]

Speaking of search functions... I used it and could not find my Favorites...


Sorry Skomakar'n...


"Chuck Norris changes the position of the Sun, by hand... depending on which country he's in so that he can always order from the McDonald's breakfast menu."


"last night Chuck Norris walked through downtown New York with an erection......
....THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS!"


"When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in Tuscany. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history. "