The Malaysian Monks of Kalamahariliahailiar
Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:07 pm
Im here to talk to you today about The Malaysian Monks of Kalamahariliahailiar.
These monks have mastered the art of flight. However, it is not achieved in the way you'd expect. After Sir Quentin G. Crawford discovered the ultimate book of power (I'm sure you have all heard about it.), some of these monks decoded a secret message in the text. The code explained a flaw in physics that actually allowed one to throw oneself. These monks had already mastered strength, and so, they learned to toss themselves extreme distances with precision. Today, these monks have secluded to a remote part of Asia, known as Jomincgg. This country is so small, it cannot be found on any maps. (and so, obviously, any text on the internet regarding Jomincgg would also be too small to see.)I only last week discovered this country, and The Malaysian Monks of Kalamahariliahailiar after an adventure to slay Kim Jong-il's secret twin brother Jim Jong-il, who I had tracked down to Jomincgg.
Anyways, the whole point of this post was to share with you the secret to tossing yourself. Here is the ritual you must perform before this can be achieved:
1. Make sure at least 46 people are watching you.
2. Repeat the following words for an hour solid: super purple hippo pimple.
3. Make the shape of a toiet paper roll, roughly half empty, with you tongue.
4.Drink a litre of crow's blood, scotch, and gasoline mixed together.
5. Leap into the air and shriek mightily.
There! Once you have done this ritual, it need never be done again. Feel free to fly anywhere you wish. If you are having trouble with any of the steps of the ritual, please don't lose hope. Practice makes perfect!
These monks have mastered the art of flight. However, it is not achieved in the way you'd expect. After Sir Quentin G. Crawford discovered the ultimate book of power (I'm sure you have all heard about it.), some of these monks decoded a secret message in the text. The code explained a flaw in physics that actually allowed one to throw oneself. These monks had already mastered strength, and so, they learned to toss themselves extreme distances with precision. Today, these monks have secluded to a remote part of Asia, known as Jomincgg. This country is so small, it cannot be found on any maps. (and so, obviously, any text on the internet regarding Jomincgg would also be too small to see.)I only last week discovered this country, and The Malaysian Monks of Kalamahariliahailiar after an adventure to slay Kim Jong-il's secret twin brother Jim Jong-il, who I had tracked down to Jomincgg.
Anyways, the whole point of this post was to share with you the secret to tossing yourself. Here is the ritual you must perform before this can be achieved:
1. Make sure at least 46 people are watching you.
2. Repeat the following words for an hour solid: super purple hippo pimple.
3. Make the shape of a toiet paper roll, roughly half empty, with you tongue.
4.Drink a litre of crow's blood, scotch, and gasoline mixed together.
5. Leap into the air and shriek mightily.
There! Once you have done this ritual, it need never be done again. Feel free to fly anywhere you wish. If you are having trouble with any of the steps of the ritual, please don't lose hope. Practice makes perfect!