Part B:
So she finally shows up right ... and the first thought i had when she walked in was "Holy crap! i hope its not her
"
she was quite possibly one of the least attractive women ive ever seen in my life (to put it semi-nicely ... she was pretty big ... and she had a bit too much makeup on
) ... and i didn't remember her
at all 
Somehow, however, she immediately knew it was me (probably because i was looking up at the door ...) she then walked up to me and asked "Are you (insert name here)?" ... i then tried my best to hide my disappointment ... i was kinda hoping that maybe i would catch a break and she would be the hottest, most interesting girl ever ... but reality shattered that ...
Anywho, we talked for roughly 5 minutes and i had not realized that the coffee shop closed so early when i set the date ... so eventually a guy comes to the table we were sitting at and said he was closing early ... and im like "Ok, thats too bad
" (but inside i was like
) but shes like "Oh no! what are we going to do now!"
Anywho i walk outside with her and she's still talking and im trying to ditch her as politely as possible when shes like "Well, i guess you could come to my house ... i don't live far away" and im like "No, i couldn't do that ... <insert excuses here>" ... but she said she "Insisted that i come so we could talk longer" and the nice idiot i am made me accept the offer
...
We walk there and i vividly remember her kid brother was playing in the driveway with the garage door open with the song
Eminem - My Band playing on the stereo (i
loathe that song to this day)
She then start bitching at her brother in the most obnoxious way to turn that music off ... and he just turns it up ... and they're bitching about it ... and she then hits the kid ... and im like " ... >_> ..." the entire time.
Finally she wins the battle due to shear size and the kid turns the stereo off and retreats back into the house through a door connecting the house and garage ...
She then walks back up to me and was like "Oh, im sorry, that was just my idiot younger brother" and she then led me into the house ... and im thinking "Im getting in over my head ... WHERE ARE MY PARENTS!?!!?"
(ill post the other stuff in later ... gotta move to another PC :S )
Edit: ok im back ...
I then followed her into the house where i go down a dark hallway into the TV lit living room where i see her parents sitting there watching "American Hotrod" on the discovery channel and she sits down and tells me to have a seat ... so i sit down reluctantly and her mom and dad start blindsiding me with questions and conversation ... things like "How old are you? Where are you from? What hobbies do you have?" and im like " .... WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PARENTS!!!!"
So after the questions stopped due to me revealing pretty much all of the basic info about me ... her dad started ranting about fishing for a while (which i found boring) and then started talking about the "American Hotrod" show they were watching and how amazing it was that they could build something like that from scratch and i just nodded and agreed with him and eventually I said something referring to some of the parts they were installing and he was like "Oh! so you know about cars do you?" and there was an awkward silence as if he was judging my car knowledge
...
Somewhere during that awkward silence the girl who i just met like an hour ago said something like "Im going to go find something to eat" and wandered off to what i presumed was the kitchen ... she didn't come back for a good 30 minutes (i know, because i paid attention to the clock very well
)...
So im sitting there talking to her dad about cars thinking to my self "OK ... SERIOUSLY ... WHERE THE
FUCK ARE MY PARENTS??!?!?"
And she comes back later ... then there was some transition discussion that somehow led to "Im glad you're dating our daughter ... she has been pretty bored around here after she got kicked out of school for smoking pot" ... not long after that i learned she was a chain smoker as well ...
And then i started thinking "Ok, enough is enough ... ive been trapped here long enough" so i basically started dropping lines such as "man, im tired" and "wow, its getting late" into the discussion (probably not as subtly as i thought at the time) ...
And then i eventually got them to reach the consensus that it was getting late and i should probably go ...
Somehow, the topic of "How do you know our daughter?" never got brought up in the conversation
After i get up and was heading towards the door she then kinda nailed me in the back with the statement "Im excited that i get to go to prom with you!" and im like thinking "EUARRGGHH!" as i mentally limped (it was actually a brisk walk) out the door ...
After i got out the door somehow, i did a brisk walk back to my car so that they couldn't catch up with me and i jumped in the car and peeled out a bit when i drove off ...
After i got home, i then walked through the front door slamming it a bit and kinda screamed into the house "Where the fuck were you guys?! Some stalkers you are!!!" Which raised alot of confusion and concern
(i knew they were home because i saw the car in the driveway when i pulled up)
The response to the "Where were you?" question was pretty much "Well, we lost track of where you were at ... so we gave up and went home"
Then i had this long discussion with my family about how horrible it was and about how the hell was i going to get out of it without shattering this girls feelings ...
No one had any serious suggestions, so i decided to ignore the problem
...
She then called about 2-3 days later and i happened to be the one who answered the phone ... she then admitted to me that
she didn't even know who i was and i didn't have to go with her to the prom ...
I was so happy i couldn't conceal my excitement ... it must have sounded bad to her when i said something like "THANK GOD! I KNEW I DIDN'T KNOW YOU!!!" and then said something like "There's no freaking way i could go to the prom with you after that shit you put me through
" and then if i remember right i hung up on her and was happy for the rest of the week
(i can't say happily ever after ... i wanted to but ... my life is always reciprocates between clusterfuck and happiness
)
)
