Let's Play Madou Monogatari!

[Grayswandir]

Im so confused as to what the goal of this game is ...

You were trying to graduate from kindergarden ... then you need to find some jewels or rocks or something and now you're looking for a elephant's head

Don't think about it too much, it just makes it worse.

UPDATE!!!!
Yes, finally an update.
Where Arle kills an elephant, meets a horny girl, gets balls dropped on her head, and gets something nice in her mouth.


...and we're back. At this point I've trekked back up three floors.


Haha...head.
...and gone back up to the once closed door and found the Elephant's Head.


...and back down...


...head...

...gimme head.

Always looking on the bright side.


...and having your hope's dashed when you warp into another faceless room.


Or not...You meet the Elephant King, he's kinda pissed.

At least she's trying to be nice this time.




...tried...


...Yeah, go for the crotch shots.

HULK SMASH!!!






I switched it up a bit this time. Instead of just killing it with fire, I cast the flowery happiness spell to lower his HULK SMASH and then I'd burn him


I got a secret stone for my troubles...and then I'm forced to run all the way back out.


I gained a few levels while I was in there, but the game still questions my competence.





Marketing.


I make a wasted trip back to Mother's House.





Ohmygawd!!! No you did'n!!!



I was just being molested by a fishman. The only thing I could think at the time was, "My god, those shades are made of awesome."

You set this up didn't you, you ungrateful brat?


Maybe she enjoyed the fish more than I thought.

After wandering around aimlessly I realize I have to go BACK to the town I came from (Elephant's Head town).


...so I can take this guy's boat.

I AM CRAB MAN!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g1fr5vk72M




I tried both options, it really doesn't make a difference which one you choose.


...and here I am in Werewolf Village...and another one of those creepy poop colored statues gives me a stat boost.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W54nw8U9PE


...and characters try to shove you along in the right direction.


Many lots.

She seems to find everything weird.


Found another plaque. This time Ice Magic. Which means I probably have to start using that in this area.


...off to the Dark Forest!



Another one, this time its stepchild red.

Ice Storm really does crap to creatures in this area...

...so I go back to burning everything.




You're a girl?

Repeat after me.

Good.

I put her to sleep for the fun of it.



...and try out a few spells I haven't used. Ever.

One thing that bugs me about this game is that every time you fight an enemy you have to go through the same dialogue, so many battles take longer than they really should.

I'm missing an image, but I also found another plaque around here that leveled up another spell that i can't remember.


Hi yourself.

Dance those lead feet.
If you're wondering why Arle isn't her usual happy self its because I'm almost dead and I'm out of magic power so I'd been running from every enemy to get to this area.

Little five year old hangovers, how cute.

You find a note.


Hi.




I really have no idea who Panotty is, and I probably won't ever find out since I'll never see them again. I think this entire thing was a cheap way of getting you items.

See?


I also put the Dark Orb back where it should be and take the Light Orb so I can return it. Yeah, the Dark Orb, never really talked about it much, but check a few posts back if you're curious.


Arle has never heard those stories of little kids getting stuck in wells.




Arle is actually being nice to someone for once?



...oh, of course.

Don't ask that.



Here it comes...

Hidden gay joke.


Wait for it...

...'cause I'm five.

Is she really doing what I think she is?



Minute man.

It might taste salty...cause I'm Undine...water goddess...right...yeah...

Poor Arle.



And they consider this a kids game.


...By this point I'm out of mana, half dead, and low on items, so I run all the way out to the main village, fly back to the first town, and go buy items.

...and Arle goes to bed to nightmares of being assaulted by a water goddess.

Next up:

[kehaar]

Yay, another installment! Funny as always.

"It might taste salty... "

I'm kinda looking forward to new Madou Monogatari in the same way I look forward to Zero Punctuation and Unskippable episodes.

[Count Roland]

you should maybe use the [youtube] tags for youtube but still it's amusing.

[Grayswandir]

you should maybe use the [youtube] tags for youtube but still it's amusing.

Doesn't really need it, if I used the youtube tags it would mean more stuff for people to load.

[Eagle0600]

Yeah, unless it's the main body of your post, optional youtube links are probably best left just that. Any-way, funny post as always.

[Grayswandir]

And we're back...
In which Arle gets turned away by Satan, wanders around aimlessly, goes on a fetch quest for a good, big, juicy, cucumber, kills a spider inside a giant ^_^ fish, and gets picked on by an ugly woman with wings.


Green Gem is Green.


Hooray Thunder!


HAIL SATAN!


...But...but...HAIL SATAN!!!


Found another one of these creepy looking statues.




At this point I realized I was going the wrong way...


...so I finally make it back to the creepy Undine chick and she isn't there. The bitch.


Looky, the game doesn't think I'm inadequate anymore. I feel loved.


Its the same dungeon as before but they overlaid a water effect and added bubbles.


Apparently this fish likes cucumbers...and I have to give them to the fish so I can get a Secret Stone that isn't so secret.


Yellow Gem is Yellow. I have no idea what these things are for yet.






She shoots bubbles.

So I smother her in flowers and then light her on fire.



I figured this guy would be a boss fight...

...but you can apparently just run around under him and do whatever you want.



Now, take these two screenshots, and repeat them 8 to 9 times and you'll know what I had to go through to find the correct one.


I gain a level, how exciting.


...I'm not posting all the places I had to search, but I finally find a damn cucumber at the lowest level. I think the only reason they made you find the rotten ones was so that you'd have something to do besides fight enemies on your way down to the last room.


...and back up to the top floor I go. What is with this game and backtracking.

I didn't catch the screenshot, but you get blown against a wall by a wave of water.


Oh look, the pedophile is here to check on you.

What would you care, the corpse would still be warm.


Yes, you have to enter a giant fish.


Finally, another Secret Stone. This makes three.

...or not. Speaking of, why does the inside of the fish look like a gaudy love machine room complete with horrible suede padding.


Look another pedophile.


Short, and to the point.


I'm keeping it warm in my bum.

She drops spiders...

...and does She-Hulk poses. Not sure what this pose does, she never did anything from it.

I mix it up with some Thunder.

Oh, she also fires ass lasers.

Yay.

The little spiders drag off her corpse. Which most likely means she'll be back.

There we go.

Ding.


See what I mean, the "^_^" fish.






This has to have been one of the most meaningless conversations so far.


Remember that fairy that deals with flowers and wouldn't let me have any a while back? Well I figured I'd go give her that flower I found and see if I could get an easy Secret Stone.


No such luck. You get brained in the skull and get stuff stolen instead.



If you squint you can probably pretend you're seeing a bag carrying harpy.



More dungeons, more enemies, more silly girl antics!










It bugs that every time you fight an enemy, you have to go through the same conversation.

SQUEE!!!

Yay, dead...thing...

I haven't recorded them all, but I think I've gained about 4 or 5 levels in one playthrough so far.

And here begins another dungeon with yet another horrible puzzle gimmick.





I really have NO idea what the hell she's trying to say.


Here's the gimmick for this place. Every time you go up a level, there's one more door, and one of those doors is wrong and sends you one floor down. Yeah, fun. We're stopping here for now.

Next time on "Arle Needs Food Badly": Doors, more doors, and more doors.

[Armored Wolf]

Is this on hiatus?

[Grayswandir]

Ah, kinda...I plan to finish Madou, but I've been playing Borderlands and Dragon Age, which have been eating up my gaming time.

[Armored Wolf]

Ah, kinda...I plan to finish Madou, but I've been playing Borderlands and Dragon Age, which have been eating up my gaming time.

Well, since both those games look better than Madou, I don't blame you.

[kehaar]

Heh.

Yeah, what's up with that, doing something fun instead of entertaining us?

[Armored Wolf]

Are you implying Madou Monogatari isn't fun?

[kehaar]

It looks pretty thrill-packt, all right.

But still, merely an empty shell without Grayswandir's commentary.

[Grayswandir]

OH NO A SCARY MAN IS KIDNAPPING A LITTLE GIRL!!! Black Bird make the call.


ROBOTS GO! SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL!!!

I'll be back playing Madou by the end of this week, probably Friday or Satuday.

[kehaar]

Yay!

--and also, "whoa! another weird game from Japan!"

[Grayswandir]

...Our robots have failed and some big black robot is killing us.

Sorry, just not feeling it right now. I still have the save file, I just need to want to play it. Even the prospect of meeting Satan isn't doing it right now.