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As much as I would love to say "That's what she said", even I feel that it may be out of place here...

Wow, I must be ill or something...

We know.

Any kind of Quote?

"If you're going to fuck up anyway then you better fuck up in a way that it leaves people wondering how the fuck you managed to fuck that up"

When Voltaire was on his deathbed, a priest came to give him last rites. At the end of the rites the priest requested Voltaire to renounce the works of the devil. Voltaire replied, "Now now, my dear fellow, this is no time to be making enemies of that sort."

The 30th US President, one Calvin Coolidge, was known for being an exceptionally quiet individual. Once, at an official dinner, the woman sitting next to him told Calvin that she had made a bet with a friend that she could get more then two words out of him. His response was, "You lose."

"You're so special, why aren't you dead?"
Liam howlett

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" ~Epicurus rules you

"There's a red-nosed reindeer. That's mean. 'Your shining nose is useful in the fog...' The way he said it doesn't help at all. If you tell a bald man his head is useful in the dark, you'd get punched in the face. Santa Claus says such cruel things."
-- Osaka

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself."
— Jane Wagner

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread." --Anatole France

Always liked that one.

For all gamers, musicians, drinkers, etc:

"Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time." --Beatrix Russell, a character in New Vegas

I like that one!