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Turner walks into a secruity checkpoint with a trench coat and dark sun glasses. He goes through a metal detector and sets it off. one of the guards comes up to him with a hand held metal detector and a bucket. "Could you please empty all you're metal items into the container, keys, loose change and the like"
Turner looks off to the side for a moment then opens his trench coat revealing a collection of a few dozen knives, swords, and a few bows. "Holy [email protected]%" Turner bunny kicks him and proceeds to use his weapons to start UbEr PONING the gurds w1th kick but kug fu.

I just thought I'd start a thread where people who have crazy ideas about Lugaru 2 can post them, like the example above.

Hahaha! That gave me a good laugh. I'll probably post something tomorrow, but I need to go to bed.

Sorry to flood the thread with such a long post. Couldn't help it.

Level 33
[clop clop whinny]
TIM: Behold the cave of Lugaru!
ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.
KNIGHT: What with?
ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.
TIM: Too late!
[Ominous Lugaru music] *Turner exits from the cave. Wolf bones litter the ground.*
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
*Turner's hungry. Just look at his L2 skinny concept art. Maybe it's because his wife's dead, and he doesn't know how to cook. Heck, he doesn't even know how to climb stairs.*
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
*Turner tries to rabbit-kick some fruit off a tree, and misses*
ARTHUR: What, behind the loon rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!
BROTHER: He wanders the island, and tries to find a purpose for his life.
KNIGHT: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate! I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM: Look!
[combat music]
TURNER: [squeak] What do you think you're doing here?
[Strange fiery letters: "Rabbit-Cannon 150", "Touch of death!"]
BORIS: Aaaugh!
[end combat music]
[Strange letters: "Flawless!", "Take no prisoners."]
TURNER: [squeak] I think I may have just found a raider scout.

ARTHUR: We'd better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's
dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.

ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
KNIGHT: David wrote something about those in the MP thread.
[They use bows]
ARTHUR: Why did the sky darken all of a sudden?
KNIGHT: And what's that "Loading..." thing?

What with my avatar and all, I had to do that one.


Note: Some movies are harder to adapt than others.
007: *invites lady to waltz* "My name is Bond... James Bond."
Turner: "My name is Turner... Turner."

Awkward.


Also, in L2, Turner is gonna be mighty hungry. So...

*munch* *munch*

This made my day!

Matrix coming down due to crappy story of second and third movies, and flogging of mythological content, transfering data to alternate universe.

Wanderer: You are the One Turner
Turner: I'm sorry, the, the what?
Wanderer: The One spoke of all the time in pop culture and on internet web boards. You can weild the greatest powers in the Matrix
Turner: You said Matrix just now, yeah, I heard it.
Wanderer: Turner, this reality is the world pulled over you're eyes to blind you from the truth.
Turner: So what's the Matrix?
Wanderer: Hold on I'm not done. The Matrix is all around us, it penetrates us.
Turner: Ew.
Wanderer: It binds the galaxie together.
Turner: So when do I take my pills?
Wanderer: On our next meeting. First you mus be caught and bugged by Wolve's
Turner is at an office, FedRab comes and delivers a cell phone. It starts ringing. Turner answers it.
Turner: Hello.
Wanderer: Hello Turner, get up on you're chair and look out of the cubicle. Even though they'll spot you.
Turner gets up and sees three wolves ask a lady rabbit which cubicle is his.
Wanderer: There's a rabbit hole directly next to yours. Take it now.
Turner jumps out of his cubicle and is knocked out by a wolf.
Later in the interagation room a wolf sits oppisite of Turner at a table.
Wolf Smith: My name is Wolf Smith. It seems you've been leading a double life, by day you work as a profesoinal Wanderer, and by night you try to figure out the meaning of the Matrix, and are guilty of every computer offense we have a law for under the hacker alias 'BunyU'
Turner: Dude, we haven't even invented computers yet you faire.
Wolf Smith: Be that as it may were still going to detain you. but were willing to let you go and forget all about these unfortunate happenings if you help bring the Raider 'Wanderer' to justice.
Turner: What are you dribbling about mate? How about I just leg cannon you and end this dumb parody.

Loading

2

That made tme laugh. The first one especially. I was expecting more people complaining about lack of scenes, and I was going to give them one of my tongue lashings, but this was much better. Thank you

Someone needs to make these levels when the game is released

Two rabbits sit at a table in a restruant.
Turner: This is a great place, 3 stars you know.
Sarah: Really?
Waiter comes out and hands them there menus.
Turner: There roast carrots are really good, but take you're time looking at the menu.
Waiter (With a french accent): Ah, if I may recomend so sir, the Apple Ala'cres, the sauce is the chef's most famous creations.
Turner: Ah well that sounds nice. Oh, if you could get me another fork? The one here is a it dirty.
Waiter: Pardon me?
Turner: The fork it's a bit dirty could I have another one?
Waiter: Ah sir, I apologies.
Turner: No need to apologies just bring me another fork.
Waiter: No sir, I do apologies, I will fetch the Head Waiter he will want to apologies to you himself.
Waiter walks to the back room.
Sarah: You certainly get good service here.
Turner: They really take care of you.
Head Waiter comes out with the Waiter cowaring behind him. The Waiter points at the fork and the Head Waiter picks it up.
Head Waiter: It's filthy! Banjorn! Find out who washed it and show them the door! No! We need to take no chances, sack the entire washing room staff!!
Turner: Uh, we don't mean to make a fuss.
Head Waiter: Oh, no it's all right, you should really point these things out. Banjorn! Tell the Manager what's happened now!
Turner: What? I mean, it's only a dirty fork.
Head Waiter: I know. And I'm sorry, but I know there are no apologies I can make that you have been given a dirty, filthy, smelly peice of cutlery!
Turner: It wasn't smelly.
Manager starts to come out of the back room.
Head Waiter: It was smelly!! And I hate it, I hate it!! And-
Manager: Gaston..
Head Waiter (Gaston): Huh, eh, em.
Gaston stalks off to the back.
Manager: Hello, hello, I've only just heard, may I have a seat?
Turner: Yes, of course.
Manager: I'd like to apologize humbly, deeply, and sincerly, about the fork.
Turner: No, it's no problem, you could barely see it.
Manager: Oh, you're good, kind people for saying that *picks up the fork* but to me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of puss! It gets me at my heart! I can't give you any excuses, there are no excuses for it! I've been meaning to spend more time in the restraunt, but I haven't been well and things aren't going very well back there, the chef's son has been put away again, and Kelly who does the washing, can hardly move her old fingers, and then there's Gaston's war wound. But there good people, and there kind people, and we were starting to get over this dark patch, there was light at the end of the tunnel! *breaks down in hysterics* Why this! Why this!
Chef comes out with the Gaston behind him.
Chef: You Bas^*&#s!! You dirty [email protected]#$*s!! This man has worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is, and you come in here with you're petty quibbling and you grind him into the dirt! Oh, it makes me mad... Mad.. *puts a cleaver in the table*
Gaston: Chef! Easy! Oh. The wound! *falls to the ground*
Manager: *gets up, holding the fork* It's the end!
Chef: I will destroy them!
Manager: The end! *stabs himself in the groin with the fork and falls dead*
Chef: You killed him! *takes the cleaver out of the table* Revenge! Revenge!
Gaston: *gets up and holds the Chef's arm from bring the cleaver down on Turner's head* Chef.. Never, kill a customer... Oh. The wound! *falls to the ground*
Chef: *brings his arm back again* REEEVEEEEENGE!!
The Waiter suddenly runs out the back room and tackles the Chef from behind, the tangled heep of them landing on the table, the Waiter sliding off the Chef's back, landing on the floor.

And Now The Punch Line

Turner: Lucky we didn't tell them about the dirty knife.

umm...yeah that one was interesting

Ya man, did you like randomly make this story up or is this a parody? I'm not saying it was bad, it was very detailed non the less (hmm one word?). Any way good job this is by far my favorite topic in "randomness" (Gee maybe it's because I've been here for less than 3 days, whatever). Anyways, we got some Monty Python and the Holy Grail, lots of matrix, and a brand new joke that stands alone(I think), very entertaining, good job guys. I'd post a story but well, I suck, so my scenes aren't just goin to be spat out from the top of my head. While I'm in randomness, can any one tell me why Usagi keeps deleting his posts, it's driving me crazy.

A few months ago, Grayswandir (on and off on these forums) wrote something which may be considered offensive. Usagi got pissed and left. He edited all his posts to "!" to get his point through.
--which is too bad, because it seems that he was a valuable contributor to these forums.

May he rest in peace.

Random facts:
-It took a lot of time and dedication to edit all his posts.
-He forgot one.

Ahh yes i did see that one last post. seemed like he did alot of great stuff, a master of screenshots, the knife designs, looked as if he was going to be part of David's team aswell.

lol whatever didn't know the guy anyways, oh well

Usagi definitely contributed a lot to the community - I hope he comes back when Lugaru 2 rolls around. He made a ton of improvements to the wiki and was an awesome modder.