Sneak Peak on Lugaru the setting dawn storyline

[Devilsclub]

I didnt want to spoil the suspence but i also wanted to show you how cool my storyline is.
Here is a small part inside the Alphawolf's Den.

"Kiara Wait" says turner, "Alpha wolf might still be alive"."You worry too much turner"said kiara [Turner's gf(i know she replaces turners wife)].Kiara slowly goes near Alphawolf to get a better look at him(actually its just like the camara zooms in to Alphawolf)."Look Kiara we already rescued Skipper now lets get the hell outta here"says Turner.Two raiders pop up from nowhere."eeek"screams Kiara.One raider says"How dare you trespass Alphawolf's terrirory?"."just look at that dead body behind you"Says Turner."OMG"gasps the second raider."GET HIM"screamed raider no.1. ....

Sounds cool?

[Richie Rabbit]

Just as long you put a lot of fighting into the game & make the maps long ill be happy

[Lotus Wolf]

I never saw turner as getting another wife/gf... and it's a little sudden too...

[shadow717]

That name: Kiara. I think you stole it from somewhere. It sounds familiar.

The story sounds stupid, and it seems your ignoring what everyone told you when you made The Great Battle of Lugaru Thing.

I never saw turner as getting another wife/gf... and it's a little sudden too...

There's also that whole factor.

[Richie Rabbit]

Its Devilsclub's storyline.. anyways if he wants turner to have a girl then so be it.

[Sandurz]

Sounds cool?

Not really

[McJoggin]

Story doesn't sound too great, but if you make the game fun then its all good.

[Untadaike]

Its Devilsclub's storyline.. anyways if he wants turner to have a girl then so be it.

Exactly. He can make the story however he wants. It's our problem if our picky standards are too high to like it.

[Untadaike]

Story doesn't sound too great, but if you make the game fun then its all good.

I agree. If it has good combat maps, I for one, will be happy.

[Monkey]

Are you sure you even know how to add dialogues to your campaign?

[Grayswandir]

Its Devilsclub's storyline.. anyways if he wants turner to have a girl then so be it.

Exactly. He can make the story however he wants. It's our problem if our picky standards are too high to like it.

Although, in retrospect, Devilsclub did ask for our opinions on it. So we can be as picky, elitist, and bullheaded as we so fracking please.

[Lotus Wolf]

Ah, nice one Gray...

[Devilsclub]

Are you sure you even know how to add dialogues to your campaign?

That Program which err.. that program that lets you edit dialogs.

[Stromboli]

Don't take this the wrong way, but your dialog sucks. It's barely legible in it's current formatting and it's overall neither interesting nor well phrased.

I'm going to translate for all those who just want to know what the hell your story IS.

"Kiara, wait!" Turner rose to stop his companion. "Alpha wolf might still be alive."

Kiara strode towards the inert body of the once powerful alpha wolf. "You worry too much," she giggled, as stooped low for a better look at their work. Turner tightened his grip on his oak quarterstaff, observing their surroundings. "Look, we already rescued Skipper. Let's just get out of here."

The crack of a tumbling pebble brought Turner's attention to the hill above, only to see a pair of ragged rabbits sailing downwards. "Holy shit!" Kiara exclaimed, turning towards their assailants. A long shimmering blade had already been drawn from a brace of knives at her belt, and it slammed into the soil behind the lead rabbit.

Pulling the knife from the ground, the raider shifted into a fighting stance and rested his hand on the pommel of a sword in his belt. "How dare you wander onto the alpha wolf's territory?" he breathed.

Turner stepped forward, revealing the gray carcass behind him.

The two raiders stood in awed silence, mute as they drew their short, battered weapons and advanced towards the companions.

DUN DUN DUNNNN

[shadow717]

Stromboli you can make anything awesome. If you were to make a campaign I would spray a porpoise from my eyes.